Reviewed by Scott Murdock
Rating: 8.5 Beans
o Sean Connery wants to rule the world by controlling its weather. I say let him... the weather he generated was the only thing of slight interest in this cure for Insomnia.
A few sentences below may be slightly spoilerish, though there really isn't much to spoil.
Okay, so we're in London, England, where everyone either works for "The Ministry" or is Evil. (It's true! You never see anyone else out in the streets of London in this movie.) Sean Connery (Sir August) has taken control of the weather using some vague means involving protons and neutrons and electrons and antimatter and telephone lines and radio transmitters. With this technology he can create good weather or storms, and target lightning to strike precise targets. His first act is to shut down something called the "Weather Shield", a secret defense weapon that protects the British Isles from enemy attack. Presumably this weather shield would stop an oncoming nuclear warhead by putting a poofy white cloud in its path, I don't know.
Uma Thurman plays Mrs. Beal, is a scientist who was involved in Project Prospero, the top-secret project that created the Weather Shield. She is the number one suspect of The Ministry after being caught on video sabotaging the Weather Shield. Ralph Fiennes plays Steed, the Ministry agent assigned to determine whether she actually had a role in the sabotage and to find out who is behind it.
Then everyone drinks a lot of tea for a while. There's some stuff with some mechanical bees that looks like it was lifted straight from "Return of the Jedi". There's some really ugly guys and some teddy bears. Then there's some weather changes and an invisible man. Did I mention Uma's topless pogo-stick scene? Well, that wasn't in there, too bad, this movie could have used anything to raise the interest.
There's some more scenes that look like they came straight from "Star Wars" and "The Empire Strikes Back". Nothing else happens for a while. Then the blind woman and the crippled man fight. Then just when the movie looks like there's a slight chance it might actually start to be going somewhere, the bad guys get taken care of (mostly by accident) and everyone drinks champaigne.
Other reviews for this movie:
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