Batman and Robin
Reviewed by Michael Rucki
Rating: 8 Beans
oly Guano, Batman! "Batman & Robin" is the fourth and without a doubt the worst of the Batman franchise. This over-hyped movie, boasting Arnold Schwarzenegger’s first villain role since The Terminator, is such a crushing disappointment that even Adam West is shaking his head.
As Mr. Freeze, Arnie had potential. He’s a brilliant scientist driven mad by the loss of his wife; he turns to crime to gather the necessary supplies for his new invention, which will bring her back to life. The script instead has Arnie chomping on cigars and spitting out "clever" one-liners like "Chill out!" and "Ice to see you." Ugh! Even the cheesiest James Bond moments were poetry compared to this garbage.
The rest of the cast varies from tolerable to awful, with one notable exception. Alfred the Butler (Michael Gough) is once again an understated and interesting character. But he comes off like the captain of the Titanic: Nothing he can do will save this ship. To be fair to the other actors, their lines are SO bad that they can’t be entirely blamed for bad performances. Clooney & O’Donnell are forgettable but decent as Batman & Robin; Uma Thurman’s Poison Ivy had her moments of fun but was pretty annoying overall.
Special notice is due for Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl: Wow! She really can’t act! Now that she’s lost the looks she had in those Aerosmith videos, you realize how bad she really is. But even if they had someone interesting playing the role, it wouldn’t have mattered. The most character development Batgirl gets is a nonsensical motorcycle chase through Gotham. Apparently 10 minutes of filler is considered "development" by Director Joel Schumacher.
One final thought: This is one of those movies that makes you wonder if anyone READ the script before deciding to make it. Now it sits on the rental shelves, hopefully collecting the dust it so richly deserves.
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