Batman and Robin
Reviewed by Steve Tursi
Rating: 8 Beans
ee I'm glad I'm not a hardcore Batman fan.
If I were one of those people who read all of the comic books, bought every related souvenier or collectible I could, knew the URLs of every Batman website, knew the names of every person who's ever played Batman, and, possibly worst of all, waited for months for "Batman Forever" to come out, I just may have to kill myself.
Granted, I didn't exactly walk into this movie looking for quality. Clearly, this was going to be one of those special effects/eyecandy type of flicks. After all, while very attractive, Alicia Silverstone (Batgirl) has never impressed me as an actress. In addition, given his performance in "Batman Forever," I certainly wasn't expecting much from Chris O'Donnell (Robin). Throw in Arnold Schwarzenegger (Mr. Freeze), and you have the stereotypical "action/shoot-em-up what you would expect from Hollywood" film. That's what I was expecting out of it. About the only thing that really made me curious is seeing Arnold in his first villian role since Terminator, which I loved him in. I was also interested in seeing George Clooney (Batman) play a role in which I was confident he would do well.
So I went in looking for action, and I got it. I would have been a satisfied customer if the it wasn't laced with so much stupidity. For example, there is a scene where the batmobile is racing down the arm of a giant statue in the middle of Gotham (where did it come from?) and jumping off the end of it onto a building across the street. Meanwhile, he's being chased my Mr. Freeze and his cronies. Not a single vehicle slipped off the side of the arm, nor did any of them crash as they landed on it. The movie is plastered with scenes like this, where your not marvelling at the special effects, but instead, your thinking of excuses to get out of the theater. And Arnold as a villian? Dissapointing.. especially since he (spoiler warning) turned out not to even be a villian.
And, of course, they tried to add a little drama into it by adding Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman) into the movie. Again, they accomplished it, but it was so stupid that you didn't know. Most notably was Robin's magic-induced (drugged) attraction to her. Why are they making Robin into a defiant SOB? When I think of Robin, I think loyal sidekick. Even while drugged, I'd expect him to do with what Batman wants, no matter what.
Clooney, by the way, had a halfway decent performance in his role as Batman, as did Thurman in her role as Poison Ivy. Other than that, the cast was horrible. Batman fans across the country will forget this one and dismiss it as one of the darkest features of the juggernaut. It's likely that you won't be able to find this movie in the video stores in a few years, which is fine with me. If you want my recommendation, don't wait for the video, don't wait for HBO, don't even wait for network television. If your friends are getting together to watch it, suggest they watch the first Batman movie instead. Forget this one ever existed. Trust me, you'll be happier person for it.
Other reviews for this movie:
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