Big Hit, The
Reviewed by Nathan Johnston
Rating: 7 Beans
his is such a stupid movie... stupid stupid stupid stupid...... stupid. I usually have a very high tolerance for movies but this piece of trash had both me and the mate that I saw this with checking our watches every five minutes about half an hour into the film. Its not that this film is terribly boring its just thats its so goddamned stupid (I can't remember if I've mentioned that fact yet). The the acting is stupid, the special effects are stupid and the action sequences are stupid..........and so on.
I knew that I would need to check my reality at the door when I entered, seeing that John Woo had a hand in making this film. No problem with that, I absolutely loved Face/Off (Its one of my favorite action flicks) and I didn't let any ounce of reality or common sense get in the way when I saw that movie. But The Big Hit didn't come close to capturing my attention, and in the middle of the cinema, me and my mate could not help but pick out everything that was stupid in the movie. For example, a hit man named Melvin Smiley (Marky Mark... oops sorry, Mark Wahlberg) basically break dancing in the middle of a hit, firing a gun in both hands at once and killing bad guys left right and centre. Yuh Huh!!! That's right, old Marky still obviously has a hint of the New Kids still in him folks. But wait theres more... instead of keeping the hit low key, he ends up with a gang of bad guys up his arse. So what does he do... no, he doesn't bid a silent retreat to surround himself with anonimity, but blows up about three floors on the hotel he was in and jumps out a window ala Bruce Willis in Die Hard... and thats just he first action sequence.
Other notable pieces of stupidity throughout the film include a video that must be returned by Smiley even if it kills him (I wish it had of as I would have got out of the cinema a twenty minutes earlier). A bad guy that manages to cheat death time and time again without any thought to plot or movie continuity, which was really, really annoying (more on that later) and a hotel pool that actually turns bright orange by an explosion - not just tinted from the reflection from the explosion. This effect was without a doubt one of the most cheesiest CGI effects that I have seen. Think of the worse FX example from Lost in Space then you know what I mean.
Making things worse is the movie's continuity. We think that the bad guy has been killed from a car falling on him. I wont tell you how the car ended up falling on him. You'll have to see it for youself... but I warn you its downright insulting. Anyway, we think the bad guy's dead but miraculously he reappears. Then we cut back to a different angle of his 'death' to see how he escaped. No need to mention that the first scene probably would have shown him escaping anyway, as I said, stupid. On final note, we have Smiley disposing of his hits in his own home (obviously a common thing in hit men circles). I wonder how he cleans the rings left in the bath tub?. Oh, and did I mention that this guy is a complete and utter whimp. He can go around killing every one he sees, but he mistress gives him a dirty look and he runs scared, I can't imagine why this doen't quite sit right with me.
The only highlights from the movie come from China Chow, a very pretty Asian actress in her introductory Hollywood film as the kidnap victim. The kidnapping is the plot that the movie tries to centre on... yes there the movie does have one so I will comment on it: ......................
Also there is Avery Brooks as the crime lord named Paris who under plays his role very well. Added to Chow and Brooks is Bokeem Woodbine as Crunch, one of Smiley's friends who has recently discovered the 'joys' of masturbation and says he will never have another girlfriend as he now has his right hand to fill that role. These three provide the only entertaining moments in the movie.
Still these moments are not entertaining enough. See The Big Hit only if you want to kill off a couple of million of your brain cells... or you have a slight masochistic streak.
Other reviews for this movie:
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