Reviewed by Jason Catanese
Rating: 10 Beans
thought Norm Macdonald's stand-up act was kind of funny, but some of his SNL stuff(esp. Weekend Update)was pretty unbearable. So I rented this movie knowing that it wouldn't be very good, but maybe I could get a few cheap laughs out of it. Nope.
Throughout the film, I kept repeating to myself "This was made, this was actually made." The "plot" involves a loser and his brother(who is also a loser)who have nothing going for them. Norm's been kicked out of his house, and has to live with his brother and his dad until he gets his feet back on the ground. Well, his dad needs a heart transplant and they have to come up with 50,000 in two weeks in order for it to be successful. How's that for an intriguing premise so far? I'm going to venture a little off topic a little here, and say that Norm Macdonald may be the worst actor ever to grace the silver screen. Anyway, the two blowrags decide to open up a "Revenge for Hire" service to earn money for their father. Some greedy developer gets in the way, played by Christopher Macdonald, who is essentially playng the same character as "Happy Gilmore"(which wasn't good either, but at least it made me laugh). At the end of the movie, everything works out an Norm gets the girl. It's embarrasingly bad. Okay, the plot's out of the way, for those of you who were losing interest. Now's the time to point out just how bad movies can get.
The movie is an hour and twenty-two minutes. It is a "comedy". I laughed three times, and twice because of how pathetic the humor was. Norm has no acting talent--oh wait. How could I forget who directed this heap? It's Bob Saget, star of "Full House", "America's Funniest Home Videos", and a very crude stand-up act. Okay, if that wasn't enough, Chevy Chase is a doctor with a gambling problem, Chris Farley is Norm's friend who got his nose bitten off by a whore, Adam Sandler appears in some odd hallucination scene, and Gary Coleman(yes, Gary Coleman)appears in two similar scenes. None of the aforementioned characters are funny. Nothing is funny. I found "Das Boot" much funnier than this.
Anyways, there's not too much more that I can say about this mess, except that on the Internet Movie Datbase, some users actually said they liked it! I can't possibly fathom the thought of someone on the floor in tears when after Norm is beaten up by a bunch of frat boys, he says into his tape recorder, "Note to self: Learn to fight?" Hilarious.
The revenge plots they do aren't even imaginative. I mean, if I were to write something with this premise, I'd make sure every revenge plot I wrote had me and everyone around me pissong themselves with laughter. I can't imagine what they thought when they came up with putting dead fish in somebody's house, cherry bomb the toilets, or putting roaches under some dude's sheets? It's all so painful. Pathetic.
Bonus points: how many times did I use a similar adjective to describe how terrible this movie was?
(Oh, and yes, I did catch the spelling error of "pissong.")
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