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The 100

Event Horizon
Reviewed by Diane Squires
Rating: 7 Beans

spaceship disappears for seven years. all of a sudden it turns up again out of the blue. For reasons surpassing human understanding, no one even considers the possibility that it might be teeming with aliens or possessed by demons from Hell. They don't send the Terminator and an excorcist out there , oh no. As always it's a search and rescue party of good people with guilty consciences who are for the chop.

Lawrence Fishburne plays the charismatic expedition leader, and it's hard not to like him. He's a good actor. Sam Neill is the designer of the lost ship/resident-nutter, and I wonder what possesses him to take these roles. Why can he never play a nice sane guy? Anyway Sam is a mess because for one reason or another his wife has comitted suicide.

The other characters are hardly worth mentioning. They are stereotypical cannon fodder played by competent actors. There's the woman who will live an d the woman who will die. There's a funny guy, a perverted guy, a stupid naive guy and a basicly decent guy. I feel sorry for them because they are trapped in a film that was conceived by complete idiots. By the way, the idiots assume that we, the viewers, are very bit are stupid as they are. I hate that.

As the movie begins, Fishburne and crew are waking from deep sleep somewhere near the missing ship, which is orbiting Neptune or some planet (I wasn't paying a great deal of attention, sorry). They are none too happy because they all have better things to do than get killed on the ship of evil.

Sam reminisces about his wife's death although her suicide is never explained. I can only assume it was Sam's fault and that's why he feels so badly about it. Another crew member feels guilty about leaving her handicapped son at home, although what's so terrible about that I don't understand. I get the impression that some backround material and explanation ended up on the cutting room floor. Only Fishburne's failure to rescue one of his crew on another mission, is clearly cause for constant self-hatred.

Now all anyone has to go on about what has been going on with the Event Horizon for the past seven years is Sam Neill's explanation of dimensional gateways and a really messed up audio cassette. Now everyone in the whole government supposedly has heard this tape and not a single one figured out that the voice on it was speaking latin. Not a one. I mean, come on! Even I could figure out what language it was.

So the crew climbs aboard the space-boat from Hell, and it is one wierd ship. You could not pay me to ride on that thing. Apparently, inter-dimensional travel requires a lot of quasi-religious symbolism in addition to razor sharp edges and spikes covering every available surface. It's very reminiscent of Clive Barker, scary images that serve no conceivable purpose. It looks icky, but why is it there?

Needless to say, the fate of our heroes is none too pleasant. They discover that the old crew ended their days by attempting to splatter their own innards all over the ship. The naive guy marches right into the vortex gateway and becomes catatonic. Sam Neill sees a vision of his dead wife and tries to stop the pain by ripping out his own eyes and becoming possessed. The guilty destroy themselves,and the others are destroyed by Sam. Dr Lecter has nothing on these killings. Ick.

I'll be nice and try not to reveal the end, but I must ask... What was supposed to have happened? They didn't go to Hell, but to a dimension of chaos that's like Hell. Well if it's not Satan, then who is possessing the ship? The old crew? Some sort of pan-dimensional sociopath? Aliens witha bad attitude, who? They make it clear that they are no longer in the dimension-o'-evil so why is the ship acting like it is... I give up. If any of you understood it, feel free to fill me in.

Other reviews for this movie:

Mike Brannon
Mike Miller

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