Reviewed by Jenny LeComte
Rating: 9.5 Beans
rustration is when you head off to your local video shop, pick up a new release by a "young hot director", take it home, watch it and think...
"Ugh, that has GOT TO be the WORST movie I have ever seen in my LIFE! What WAS I thinking? I demand a refund!!!"
I knew I was in for it when I found out the soundtrack was by The Artist Formerly Known As Prince. I can't think of anything more pretentious than changing your name to a symbol which cannot be reproduced on any keyboard and adding a rider to your tour contract which forbids people from LOOKING at you. So what are you meant to do after you've shelled out $50 for a concert ticket? Wear an airline sleep mask to the auditorium?!
I've also got a real problem with women over the age of 20 being referred to as "girls". The lead character in this flick, played by Theresa Randall, is only ever referred to as "Girl 6''. What is her real name, anyway? Tammy? Wanda? Aphrodite?
Girl 6 is a failed actress who - quite sensibly - tells Quentin Tarrantino to stick it when he says "show us yer tits". I would have gone a step further and slapped a sexual harrassment suit on the creep. Anyway, after Girl 6 disobeys what Tarrantino believes was a reasonable request, Girl 6's agent drops her.
With rent to pay and a shoplifting boyfriend to support, Girl 6 gets a job on a phone sex line where she gets paid exhorbitant fees for having an asthma attack through the receiver.
Her co-workers have even more inventive ways of turning callers on. Girl 4 (Desi Moreno), for instance, says: "I'm going to mount you Snoopy Doggy Dogg style, housewife". Oooh - you go, girl!
Girl 6 herself also knows how to turn a phrase. When confronted by a scary caller, she purrs: "Baby, let me tell you something. You can continue to live in your little fantasy world with your baseball cards and the autographed bullshit or whatever the f*** is it you do, but me, I got to eat and pay the rent. Phone sex is acting, and if you don't like it, you can step.''
The caller responds: "F*** you, you know, at least I got Willie Mays and Hank Aaron's autograph on a baseball card, you know, they're in the hall of fame.''
Spike Lee, who was obviously between jobs and pretty damn bored, worked really hard for his R-rating by including heaps of profanity and gratuitous sexual references.
Yeah, this flick deserves an R-rating all right. It's repulsive, revolting, ridiculous, repugnant, rancid and rotten. When I hired it, I was ripped off severely.
"Bad Movie Night" is a presentation of
Hit-n-Run Productions, © 1997-2006,
a subsidiary of Syphon Interactive, LLC.
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