Reviewed by Brendan McBride
Rating: 10 Beans
his is a terrible movie! I mean really terrible. A truly bad film is not one that is campy or comically bad, since, after all, "comically bad" can be quite good. What makes a bad movie bad is that it fails to accomplish what it set out to do and gives us nothing else entertaining instead. Ed Wood movies are not bad. Emmerich and Devlin movies on the other hand are bad, bad, bad. These two clowns have the capacity to take some of the best ideas circulating around Hollywood (that's not saying much is it?) and turn them into the purest crap pitched out onto the big screen. Who can forget what they did with the terrific premise in "Stargate?" And "Independence Day," thousands of super-cool aliens invade Earth, can't miss entertainment? Guess again.
I'm not afraid to say that I love Godzilla movies. But aside from buying the right from Toho to use the big G's name, this ain't no Godzilla movie. In fact, if I had to describe it I would say that it is a complete ripoff of every famous sci-fi/action scene made in the past 20 years, except that each scene is poorly done, the connecting story is incoherent babble so awfully scripted that the lines (almost every damn one) have that chalkboard effect on one's spine, and the not-so-special effects, aside from being blatantly stolen from "Jurassic Park" and "JP:The Lost World" are sloppy and unconvincing. And believe me, that's a serious criticism of a movie that only claims to offer special effects. It is obvious that the producers spent about ten bucks on the screenplay. But one hundred million dollars for special effects! For this unoriginal and poorly executed garbage!
The acting is the best you'll get with this script. Matthew Broderick ("Ferris Bueller," "Addicted to Love") plays his "hero-nerd" character from "Wargames" and "Project X." Hank Azaria ("The Birdcage," half the voices on "The Simpsons") is too scarce but does good with what little screentime he gets. The rest is pretty much awful, though most of that can be blamed on the lines I think.
After being fooled into thinking Emmerich and Devlin could tell an entertaining story on three separate occassions now, my only hope is that the G-man's next appearance is in Dean Devlin's backyard pool for a swim and some well-deserved revenge.
The following is a list of scenes, to the best of my recollection, that are directly stolen from other, better movies:
"Godzilla" himself, is cheap attempt at the T-Rex from JP.
The scene when he chases the cab and nudges it with his nose is just like the scene in JP1 when the T-Rex chases the Jeep.
The "baby Godzillas" look, move and act just like a "poor man's" Velociraptors. Except that they walk about two feet off the ground and don't blend into the live action scenery in any believable way.
There are too many other JP ripoffs to list here.
The torpedo evasion scene is right out of Red October (so bad that they could have just cut in a picture of Godzilla over the submarine).
The "egg discovery scene" is taken from Aliens.
The "monster gets close to face of hero but for no discernable reason fails to attack" scene is lifted from Alien3 and JP.
The death scene is a carbon copy of the death of Kong in "King Kong (1975)" especially the slowing heartbeat and sentimental music.
There are many more but I think you get the point.
Other reviews for this movie:
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