Reviewed by Susan Paine
Rating: 3 Beans
his movie often sneaks around under the title Hard Drivers, and how I love the mind that thought, "Oh yes, that's so much more innocent a title!"
Really, a better title would be Teen Spy Truckers. You've got the Gen-X age Secret Agent Man (Patrick McGoohan as "Red") and James Bond (Sean Connery as "Johnny") driving like roadies for GWAR while they try to beat out the dude from Guns of Navarone (Stanley Baker as "Tom," his name's Joe Yately, but he's hiding from his parole officer) for a solid gold cigarette case.
In between, they hang out at this sleazy grill with high school senior, Jill Ireland (as "Jill"..beware movies where the character is named for the actress). Jill makes 'em sammitches, they play foozball and drink massive quantities of beer, and then they beat the snot out of the local shiny happy booster kids at the sock hop.
There's a subplot with an Italian nicknamed "Spaghetti" (and I'm sorry, but Chef BoyArDee is more believable than this guy), and a love interest for Tom-Joe in the wisecracking trucker secretary Lucy (Peggy Cummins). There's even a cameo by the *other* Man from U.N.C.L.E., David McCallum, as Tom-Joe's crippled kid brother who helps run a candy store. "Aw, wilya write us, Tom? Wilya quit runnin' guns for the Pirahna Brothers and go straight this time, Tom?"
There's the deaf trucker, "Pop," who rides with a German Shepherd. There's Tom-Joe's room altar. There's bar tricks. There's Secret Agent Man and James Bond playing foozball tanked up on cheap beer. All from the fine minds at J. Arthur Rank (not J. Arthur Crank, for those who wondered, and we know who we are). It's worth the hunt, hey, if only for Tiger Beat age James Bond at the sock hop.
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Hit-n-Run Productions, © 1997-2006,
a subsidiary of Syphon Interactive, LLC.
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