Reviewed by Nathan Johnston
Rating: 10 Beans
his movie is testimate to how good Australian Bad Movie Making can be... and being Australian myself I'm proud of it. Put simply Hercules Returns is the best bad movie I have seen in my life. I would go as far to say that it is also the campiest, downright most intentionally bad movie that has ever been made. This film most definately has to be seen to be believed. It is chock full of everything that is bad: bad acting, bad dialog, bad camera work, bad stunts, bad rubber props and bad toilet humor... I loved it. I actually last saw this movie about two years ago, THAT is the impression that this piece of cinematic mastery left on me.
The plot is simple to the point of idiocy. A executive in a big filmmaking company refuses to bow to the boss and quits. He tries to start his own cinema and builds up a huge opening night to show a screening of Hercules. Unbeknownst to him though, his bastard ex-boss has set him up with an Italian version of the film and he and his friends have to completely ad-lib the lines sound effects and even the storyline of the movie. Its brilliant.
With such classic lines throughout the movie that include "Get you hand off my left tit" plus "I'll fight you on one condition... that you lower your nipples" and ad-libbed character names such as Labia and Testiculi, who could pass up viewing such a film making treat. I can't describe this anymore than I have, there are so many moments in this movie that completely defy description. When you see the movie you will understand my ramblings and appreciate how good a bad movie can be. This is one movie that every Bad Movie Fan absolutely MUST see... I mean it. Stop reading this review and rent it now... I mean NOW. Your depriving yourself if you leave it any longer. I garuantee that you will thank me once your done... In fact I've just motivated myself to see the movie again. I have given Hercules Returns 10 Beans becuase I love it so much... but don't doubt it - it is a breath-takingly b-a-d movie.
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