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The 100

Leprechaun 3
Reviewed by Nathan Johnston
Rating: 7.5 Beans

hen was the last time that half way through a movie you stop and rewind the tape, go and get a notepad, start watching the movie again this time taking notes on how bad the movie is becuase you can't possibly remember the first 40 minutes worth of crap let alone the entire movie's? No? I feel sorry for you.

I also feel sorry for the Irish, I don't know whether they would be laughing at the inpetness of this movie or crying that one of their national icons is being treated as such. Either way, if the story that these movies propegates is true then I am very surprised that there are still people living in Ireland today. Maybe all those Irish jokes have a hint of truth in them (this and my Irish ancestry could explain my strangeness). Anyway, back to the point.

Lets see... hmmm, well first we have the Leprechaun running around Las Vegas trying to find his gold that he has lost, again! Personally, I would have thought that a creature that was so jealous of his gold would protect and care for it better, but where would the fun be in that? Anyway, to paint a picture, Ol' Lep gets unfrozen from a statue and loses one of his coins. The coin is found by Scott (John Gatins) who has just lost all of his money at the Lucky Shamrock casino, ironic huh? Stupid dork that he is, Scott takes the coin and wishes that he was back at the casino on a winning streak and before you can say "cover me in melted cheese and lock me in a cage full of plague ridden rates" Scott's wish has come true. Of course, Lep realises that he is missing a coin and kills any poor sap that gets in his way of finding it or has it in their possession.

I'm glad I'm not a Leprechaun, imagine being so consumed by greed that you would rather go on a mad killing spree than go into a topless bar. The depths of depravity that a Leprechaun can sink to, tsk tsk tsk. However, it does seems that Leprechauns are talented little sods. Ol' Lep does one mean Elvis impersonation. If you want to see a Leprechaun do the entire Elvis routine, pelvic thrust, voice and all then rent this movie. Lep could make a killing on the Las Vegas lounge singing scene. Added to that the sight of Lep done up as a gypsy psychic is downright scary... shudder.

This movie is so inane in parts. Who the hell wants to listen to two moronic idiots, pretending to be tough, talk about their dress preferences? No sane person wants to hear two men talking about their underwear and how they like to 'hang'... what is the point!!! However, not to be outdone, Scott would have to be the biggest idiot, loser, tool etc that I have ever seen. Anybody who cashes in their $23,000 colege tuition check and loses it all at the roulette table, only then to be suckered into pawning his watch by the croupier deserves every goddamned thing that happens to them. Then there is 'The Great Fazio' (John DeMita), the resident magician at the Lucky Shamrock. Well, anybody who demands to be called 'Great One' both onstage and off and acts liek a bigger $#@$^&#! than David Copperfield when he's performing and steals silk underwear, deserves everything they get and then some.

The one good thing about this movie was that I was finally able to show my folks that there is such a thing as a money tree.

There once was a man from Madras
Who's balls were made from fine brass
So in stormy weather, they both clanged together
And sparks flew out of his ass

- The Leprechaun

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