Lovely But Deadly
Reviewed by Jason Coffman
Rating: 6 Beans
he opening credits of "Lovely But Deadly" are presented over a pretty much static shot of a high-school dance. In 1981. The music sounds outdated, the clothes seem a little wrong somehow. Suddenly, you realize you are about to watch a film that isn't going to be very good. The first clue? Here are actual lyrics to the theme song: "How low/ can they go?.../ How high/ can they fly?" *shudder*
"Lovely But Deadly" concerns a young lady named Mary Ann Lovett (Lucinda Dooling). Her friends call her Lovely. Yeah. At any rate, her brother drowns in a rather clumsily-established drug-related accident. Angry, Lovely decides to stop drugs in her high school any way she can, which includes killing off the only really likable character before the story even takes off. He calls himself "Captain Magic," and has some incredible lines before Lovely shoves drugs down his throat and he dies in the hospital (from an apparent suicide).
There's a martial arts angle to the film, but it doesn't work very well. This is mainly due to the fact that our heroine has obviously not been trained in the secret arts, and her fight scenes are often clumsy and unintentionally funny. Eventually, members of the local (and apparently girls-only) dojo come on the scene to help Lovely out, and they look a bit more practiced.
Did I mention her boyfriend is in a Rock Band? Oh yes. One of my personal favorite parts of any bad movie is the Rock Band. This one plays during a class, which I guess is all right in Lovely's school. You know, have a Rock Band play instead of having class, that sort of thing.
Did I mention "Lovely But Deadly" is a white, virtually pacifist remake of "Coffy" starring Pam Grier? Oh yes. Of course, taking the "black" out of "blaxploitation" creates problems. Mainly, no jive, no cool music, nothing that made the original what it was. Oh well. At any rate, "Lovely But Deadly" is fun to make fun of, and it's worth watching just for the horrible classroom rock concert scene.
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