Six Days, Seven Nights
Reviewed by Rhonda Gilbertson
Rating: 8 Beans
h, this one certainly hurt. I went into the theater using my tried-and true theory that states that any movie starring Harrison Ford (Air Force One, Star Wars) can't be all bad. Sadly, my theory was shot all to hell with this bomb.
Ford and Anne Heche (Volcano, Donnie Brasco) are the stars in this flat attempt at a romantic comedy that strands them on a lush South Pacific island when their plane crashes in a thunderstorm. The movie has many problems, mostly having to do with the thoroughly predictable plot, and major believability issues. A few lowlights...
The special effects of the plane flying through the thunderstorm were laughable; I almost expected to be able to see the fishing line holding the toy plane up against the backdrop. And for crash landing rather violently on the beach, the plane's structure remains remarkably intact, setting us up for the inevitable scenes of repairing the plane and flying off the island. I'm not a pilot or aviation expert for sure, but I have a very hard time believing that the floats from a wrecked WWII Japanese float plane can be attached to Ford's plane simply with bamboo and rope, particularly when the rest of the Japanese wreck is looking much like any 50-year-old pile of metal in a tropical rainforest would: badly rusted and full of holes.
Since you know Ford and Heche are going to eventually get off the island (since what other point to the movie is there?), the filmmakers felt a need to bring even more drama to the plot, and as our pair rows their inflatable raft toward a boat, dreaming of a rescue, they see through their trusty binoculars that the boat is full of pirates. Excuse me, but PIRATES?!?! Could they find no better villains to complicate matters for the heros? I was anticipating drug dealers (which wouldn't have been all that original, but at least somewhat feasible), and was left just shaking my head in disbelief.
As for the actors, I have but three things to say: 1) A drunken Harrison Ford is better than no Harrison Ford at all, but just barely; 2) David Schwimmer (The Pallbearer, Friends) is even more annoying in this movie than on his television show, if that's possible; 3) Certain physical characteristics of Anne Heche's led me to believe that for a tropical island, it sure does seem to be rather cold a LOT, if you know what I mean.
If you feel some aching need to see this movie (desperate for a Harrison Ford fix?), I would insist that you bring a friend along so that you can at least get some laughs from tearing the movie apart with them. Share your astoundment at the sheer number of helpful tools, and the amount of equipment in general that was carried on that plane! Laugh uproariously when Ford tells Heche that her "tits are too small." Stare with amazement at the preparations to make Ford's plane airworthy again! Just do yourself a favor, and DON'T pay full price!
Other reviews for this movie:
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