Reviewed by Ken M. Wilson
Rating: 10 Beans
f you wanna be real bored, you gotta get with your friends... head on out to the theatres, there you're journey begins. Yes, my friends, I braved the rapids and went to see "Spiceworld" on opening night. Armed with a group of co-workers and my six year old son, I sat down at the one movie I was hoping would dethrone "Titanic" as the most profitable for the weekend. Boy was I wronged.
"Spiceworld" is what every BMer envisions in his or her wildest fantasies. Take an annoying pop band, give them unwarranted success, give them book deals, and huge media press and what does that spell? You better believe it spells "movie deal." And a deal it was... we are subjected to 90 minutes of Posh, Ginger, Sporty, Baby and Scary Spice acting like complete idiots. It was great! My son ended up nearly falling asleep on my lap while uttering the best line heard throughout this gruelling experience -- "Dad? Can we go?!?" Yes, even six year old males can't stand "Spiceworld."
The story goes like this -- the girls are rich and famous and run around on their Spice bus driven by Meatloaf. Their manager, an uptight stereotypical faux-chap, is determined to bring them safe and sound to their internationally televised concert no matter what the price. Of course, he won't let the girls have any fun along the way so that leads to glimpses of Girl Power! as our five female foxes do this and that to the delight of no one but themselves. In the background is a sadistic newsman hell-bent on destroying the Spice Girls for little to no reason. What can I say? Every film needs an enemy. You'll never guess how it all comes out.
"Spiceworld" did have it's redeeming points that only "Bad Movie Night" junkies can appreciate. Roger Moore's washed-up face gets my vote for Best Actor. His self-parody of Bond is to die for -- the first few moments of his drivel grate on the nerves like seeing your ex-girlfriend kissing her new beau, but eventually the lines Moore dishes out are the most looked forward to portions of this travesty.
The movie also parodies some of the bigger budget flicks of recent years -- namely "Mission Impossible" and "Speed". It also has numerous guest appearances. I managed to see Meatloaf and Roger Moore (as mentioned above), Bob Geldof, Elton John, Elvis Costello, and Bob Hoskins to name a few. What were these guys thinking?!? I wish *I* could have been in the film but until I'm a has-been (with the exception of repetitive songwriter Elton John) I have no shot at being a part of any Spice Girls production.
BAD MOVIE NIGHT AWARDS PREDICTION: Unless film writers gather together and work the mojo there is NO WAY IN FIERY HELL that any other film could dethrone "Spiceworld" as the worst film of 1998.
Other reviews for this movie:
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