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The 100




Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, The
(1986)
Reviewed by Jason Catanese
Rating: 10 Beans

ut of control. This film is simply out of control. That being said, even though this surely is a bad, bad movie, it's just so out of control and bloody that it just may possibly be the greatest film ever made.

How could anyone forget the beginning? Two kids driving down the road, drinking, blasting some music, when....here comes Leatherface, who hacks the top of one of the kids' heads off while the driver maintains a steady wheel, cruising at about 275 MPH. Did I mention he was going in reverse?

There is a plot, it involves a radio DJ getting a hold of the car murder tape and vowing to track down the killer, or some crap like that. These aren't movies you watch for the plots, folks. This is what you want to hear:

There's a shitload of blood and gore in this picture. People who were offended by the first one should steer clear of this. I like blood and gore, so this was a dream come true. Leatherface cuts off a guy's face and puts it on lovely Caroline Williams(the DJ) face while she's held hostage, the cook gets a chainsaw right smack dab in his crotch, entrails are pretty prevalent throughout, and a few people get sliced up pretty good with chainsaws. However, this was all done in good fun, so I didn't really find it that disgusting.

Blood and guts are awesome.

The whole crazy family is back, including Grandpa, who is now 137 years old, but still swings that mallot like a champion. His scenes are unrivaled in cinematic history. The cook is also in fine form, spouting out wild lines that me and my friends recited for months afterward, as is the hitchhiker, who now has a metal plate in his head. Is there anyone who doesn't want to see this by now? If not, it's time to meet Grandma.

Grandma must be at least 758 years old. This is uncomprehensible. She doesn't move much, but she does hold a 9-foot chainsaw, which our DJ friend uses to slice and dice a few family members before the place is blown up. Confused? Who cares? In the name of all that's holy, Dennis Hopper's in it, overacting like you've never seen him before.

I could go on for days about this masterpiece, but I don't want to spoil everything for the now converted millions who will go out and rent this. Just don't rent this looking for a worthy sequel to the original, they have nothing in common. If anything, this is basically an all-out comedy with a lot of blood and guts in it. F--k "Platoon", here's the best picture of 86'.






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