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The 100




Titanic
(1997)
Reviewed by Nathan Johnston
Rating: 9.5 Beans

K, I know that I will be in a pretty small minority regarding my opinion of this film, however, that does not alter my opinion of this movie one iota. I absolutely, positively, undeniably hate this movie with a passion that is usually reserved for warring countries. I would not watch this movie again... EVER. Even if Claudia Schiffer and Cindy Crawford told me that they would both have sex with me I would still not see this movie again.

After an intro like that I should be giving the movie 10 Bean's, yet I cannot, for there are some positive aspects to the movie that cannot be overlooked. For starters, the special effects are absolutely amazing, they can't be described any other way. Secondly, the life size replica of the boat is just as impressive as the special effects. Finally, to a certain degree, the directing of the movie is also outstanding - even if James Cameron did act like a complete dickhead at the Academy Awards ceremony and wants to direct a sequel to the movie. I can see it now... Titanic 2: The Titanic Sinks Again. Aside from that, the movie boasts no other redeeming features whatsoever (not even Kate Winslet's breasts - if she didn't use a body double - can give this movie a better rating) and these redeeming features are far outweighed by the movies lesser areas.

It was a big surprise to see once again that Leonardo DiCaprio cannot act to save his life. I didn't really expect much from him but I did expect for him to act passable at the least. If he could only stop overacting for five minutes he may have made that those minutes bearable. I honestly cannot believe that some women believe that he is a serious actor. It just goes to show us guys that women have the same impure thoughts about the opposite sex as we do about them, that's the only way to explain it. Its like me saying that Denise Richards is a really good actor when one of the only reasons I saw Wild Things was to ogle at her body and see her go for it with Neve Campbell (you expected me to say something else!!!). For the record, Denise Richards is not a bad actor, but she is not exceptionally good either.

However poor Leonardo is not completely to blame, in this case. On top of his meagre acting ability he was given a poor screenplay and role to work with. That capitulated his acting to all time levels of badness. The love story that the movie centres upon was so melodramatic and sugar-coated that I now feel that I suffer from diabetes from watching the movie. I now know how many times I can see a couple confess their love for each other before I begin to feel the nausea beginning to rise. I must be a cynic but at the end of the movie in the scene where an 'old' Rose (Gloria Stuart) in a final expression of her love to Jack (Leonardo) throws her necklace into the ocean had me yelling "JUMP" in the middle of the cinema. For some reason the other patrons did not take too kindly to it. But then, not many heard me as they already had there tissues out and their sobs drowned out my remark.

People may call me unromantic, this is untrue. I like romance, but not in the heaped spoonfuls that it was force fed to us throughout this movie. This is the reason that I count Titanic as a bad move and give it its place at BMN.


Other reviews for this movie:

Mike Lenzlinger
Diane Squires




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