Reviewed by Diane Squires
Rating: 10 Beans
would just like to take a moment to gloat over you, because I happen to have this film on video, and I'm pretty sure that, whoever you are, you don't. *gloat gloat gloat* Oh well, at least you can take comfort in the fact that "Braindead" has at long last turned up on cable, complete with killer rampaging intestines.
"Wacko" is the greatest serial killer movie ever made, combining all the elements of truly brilliant horror movies into one great conucopia of terror. It's Halloween, it's Prom Night, and there's a Pumpkin-headed Lawnmower Killer on the loose, chopping oversexed teens into hamburger meat with his power lawnmower. Meanwhile, our heroine Mary (Julia Duffy) and her boyfriend Norman Bates (Scott McGinnis) are hoping to make it to the Halloween Pumpkin Prom so they can make it *at* the Halloween Pumpkin Prom, if only Mary would stop freaking out about her big sister Pam's death by lawnmower many years ago.
While Mary, Norman and their friends are angsting over their costumes for the prom, and over the fact that Mary is the only virgin left in the entire school, rogue cop Dick Harbinger (Joe Don Baker) is hot on the killer's trail. Dick has been trailing the Pumpkin-headed Lawnmower ever since the killer mowed down Pam. In fact, Dick is so dedicated that he hasn't slept since the first murder, and carries a breifcase full of coffee with him everywhere he goes. Now that it's Halloween, it's the anniversary of the Lawnmower Killings, it's Prom Night and a dangerous mental patient is on the loose, Dick alone can save the day. The rest of the police are sure that the lastest outbreak of bloodshed is only the work of werewolves.
Mary and Norman make it to the Halloween Pumpkin Prom, after a lovely dinner with Mary's parents Doctor Graves (George Kennedy) and Mrs Graves (Stella Stevens), her brother Damien (Michael Lee Gogin) who sends along Satan's warmest regards, and Norman's mother Mrs Bates, who is looking a little less than healthy. At the Prom, Mary's friends Bambi (Elizabeth Dailey), Rosie (Michele Tobin) and Tony Schlongini (Andrew Dice Clay) aren't doing so well. Poor Rosie and Tony finish up their romantic kitchen rondezvous in the bread slicer and the garbage disposal, respectively and Bambi turns up with the escaped mental patient as her date!
Will Dick make it to the Halloween Pumpkin Prom in time to save Mary from the Pumpkin-headed Lawnmower Killer? What's the real identity of the Pumkin-headed Lawnmower Killer? Is it the principal Harry Palms? The Wierdo? Zeke the Geek? Science teacher Dr Moreau? Will Mary and Norman ever get it on? Will Dick ever get some sleep? Or could Bob the Elephant somehow be behind it all?
I won't spoil this one for you, you just have to watch it and see. By the way, if you ever find this one on cable, be sure to tape it. You'll be very glad you did. Yeah, it's so bad it hurts, but it hurts so good. A very satisfying ten beaner.
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