Wedding Singer, The
Reviewed by Mike Clarkson
Rating: 8 Beans
he 80's. Some of us were there, you know. I was one of them. My formative years were spent doing 80's things like wearing pointy shoes, baggy pants and listening to early Cure tapes, to the accompaniment of a silly haircut. Not that I thought it was silly, any more than you would have thought velour pullovers were silly in the 70's. The point is, I did, with apologies to Paul Kelly, all the dumb things associated with the 80's.
And "The Wedding Singer" does not look or feel like the 80's.
I mean, I've got no essential problem with the blah plot as such. If Adam Sandler chooses vehicles which make him out to be a SNAG, good luck to him. He's a pretty one-joke sort of comedian, so trying to broaden one's base would seem like a good idea. Done alright for Jim Carrey anyway. No, it's not the plot, although something original would have been nice. It's the eighties thing.
I couldn't quite put my finger on what bothered me most. Certainly the chronology was wrong. Did J.R. get shot in 1985? Memory suggests it was earlier. The nasty yuppie dude; where DID he get the DeLorean from? Borrow it from Doc Brown? No one EVER drove Deloreans as cars...it's a nice prop, but it rings a very wrong note. And, while he may have had the pastel Miami Vice gear and stubble, he DIDN'T ROLL UP THE SUITCOAT SLEEVES. Dead giveaway. The haircuts are all over the place. The Decor was just somehow wrong.
Then it struck me. The Drew Barrymore character. Meant to be a nice suburban girl. Not outrageous. Didn't detect any early rrriot grrl or skin characteristics. So why was she wearing Docs with a skirt? Yes, commonplace now among any number of wannabe bad girls, but back then....no. Not on a girl like that. And her haicut was way, way wrong. So was his, of course, but who the hell ever heard of a wedding singer anyway?
The Wedding Singer. It's a cash in. Tried and true boy meets girl etc, etc,storyline, with this wierd mish mash of 80's props thrown in with no respect for accuracy, in order to get in first for the, god help us all, 80's revival. It's a dud. Nice to see Billy Idol, of course, even after the bad face lift.
The whole movie feels as fake as a Oscar acceptance speech. If you want eighties, go straight to the main vein - Breakdance 2: Electric Boogaloo. You deserve it.
Because, let's face it, if you want to relive the 80's, believe me, you weren't there. Am I getting crusty young or what?
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