West Side Story
Reviewed by Keith Cervine
Rating: 1 Beans
est Side Story" is a romantic musical that takes place on the streets of New York City. This is the first problem of the movie, these three words (Romantic, Musical, and NYC) should not be placed in the same sentence unless you are talking about Broadway or those adult buildings on 42nd Street (now owned by Disney).
This movie is about gang warfare over who rules the streets of New York. This is where the other two problems come into play. First of all the names of the gangs are the Jets and the Sharks (oooh, I'm scared!). If the writers really wanted to pick names of hockey teams for the gangs they could have at least picked some good ones (e.g. Devils, Bruins, (Black) Panthers, or even Maple Leafs). I believe that if there were a gang named The (New York) Jets they would be laughed out of the city. Finally, and most importantly, WHY DO THEY ALWAYS SING WHEN THEY ARE GOING INTO A FIGHT, AND THEN FIGHT LIKE THEY'RE ON STAR SEARCH? This is, I believe, the main reason I am writing this review for Bad Movie Night.
So, Congratulations "West Side Story," I believe that this will be the first movie to win Best Picture by the Academy Awards AND have a Bad Movie Night Review. Do Not watch this movie unless you are forced to (i.e. there is a woman in your home), because like Riff (yes his name is Riff) sings, "When you're a Jet, You're a Jet all the way!" Translations into 1990's lingo, you will be sucked into watching this movie again and again if you watch it once. Use the Force, let go your anger, and DO NOT RENT THIS MOVIE!!!!!
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