Santo y Blue Demon contra los Monstrous
Reviewed by Chris Edwards
Rating: 5 Beans
ad movies are a dime a dozen. They overflow from video store shelves and clog cable channels, and they waste our time and attention at the bijou. Once in a great while, though, comes a movie so inept, so inane, so mind-warpingly, jaw-droppingly capital-B BAD, it rewires your mind forever.
Such a film is "Santo y Blue Demon contra los Monstruos." I chanced across this Mexican-made peep through the looking glass on a wildcat satellite feed when I was in high school. I do not exaggerate when I say it changed my life.
I'm a little hazy on the plot, since it's unsubtitled and entirely in Spanish, but it seems to involve a mad scientist who returns from the dead and assembles a mini-legion of classic monsters-Frankenstein, Wolfman (Hombre Lobo), Dracula, the Mummy, a sea creature, some zombie/clone-type things, and a little dwarf/alien/doorstop being with an exposed brain. Opposing this diabolical line-up is Santo, the silver masked man, pro-wrestler and Mexican folk hero.
Santo, in case you are not familiar, starred in dozens of ultra-cheap, ultra-silly movies that mixed horror, sci-fi, spy adventure and uhhh....wrestling. A few black and white outings even made it to US TV, with Santo redubbed Samson. Any of these movies are deeply weird and undeniably bad. But I can't imagine anything weirder or worse than "Santo Y Blue Demon contra Los Monstruos.."
How weird? Picture it-Santo and his girlfriend are necking in the woods in Santo's funky convertible. Santo, of course, keeps his mask on. Suddenly-Frankenstein attacks! Later, Santo, his girlfriend and the kindly professor-type they know, enjoy a nice evening out, when...the mummy-who is stick-thin and pathetic looking, ruins the meal! How bad? Papier-mache sets, pitifully poor makeup-and the sea-creature's flashlight-eye goes out everytime Santo hits it. Giddy, mind-expanding scenes follow one another so fast it's dizzying-you will not believe what you're seeing, guranteed.
Unfortunately, you can't find "Santo y Blue Demon contra los monstruos" very easily. Something Weird Video used to carry it, but may not stock it now. If you get a chance, though, don't miss this uniquely compelling trainwreck.
Five beans, because it's really bad but it's perfect in it's way. And I'm taking points off the print I eventually got on video, because it eliminated the two cheerfull musical numbers (which had in turn been lifted from another movie entirely)-that were in the print I first saw.
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