Reviewed by John Weber
Rating: 9.5 Beans
f ever there was proof that ANYTHING ever filmed would one day find its way to video, "J.C." is it.
This is a Class Z howler. Not a damn thing makes sense, the performances are as wooden as a Louisville Slugger, there's totally gratutious nudity, blood, stupid plot twists and even a name actor (Slim Pickens) trapped in this thing. In short, it's teriffic.
The vision for "J.C." eminates (like a pungent odor) from an Orson Welles-wantabe named William McGaha, who produced, directed, wrote and stars as the title character, a biker who suddenly thinks he's Jesus Christ. This slob biker can't hold a job, smokes dope, and lays around in ratty Fruit of the Looms (the scene where he turns on his stomach in bed and we see in medium close-up his, uh, shall we say, veteran underwear - I knew we had a winner, folks).
McGaha, who looks like Dan Haggarty of "Grizzly Adams" fame and acts about as well, has a dream or trip where he seems to be Christ, hanging with two women who both eat an apple at the same time. That's all I got out of it. Based on this, he goes to all his biker buddies and announces this, and tells them they must follow him. Suddenly it's like a Hell's Angels gospel revival. For some reason, their first task is to go visit J.C.'s sister in Redneck, Alabama. Bad hometown memories for J.C. The redneck sherrif (Pickens) wants him and his friends, especially the "colored" ones, out of town.
You never see any Christlike activities out of ol' J.C., just confrontations with the townsfolk. And when they're out of beer, guess who goes to town alone to get some more Pabst?
That's right, the "colored" man.
This all leads to a very bloody, senseless confrontation. You can guess the rest.
Man, this is BAD! First, Slim Pickens plays the redneck sheriff with the exact same inflections as his "Blazing Saddles" character. I kept waiting for him to say "What in the Wide World of Sports are you bikers doing here?" There's one hippie biker guitarist character who keeps breaking into song throughout this thing. Remember the scene where John Belushi destroys Stephen Bishop's guitar in "Animal House"? I never so desperately wanted that to happen in a movie in my life. And for you microphone fans out there - the boom mike is visible in just about every shot.
There's one scene where a biker tries to rape J.C.'s sister (J.C. saves her). Moments later, he apologizes because, as bikers, they're used to just taking what they want. Oh. Okay. Then they go for a roll in the hay.
I'll leave you with this actual line from "J.C.", which says to me this film must have made me a better person:
"Anything that makes you a lot better real fast...
"Bad Movie Night" is a presentation of
Hit-n-Run Productions, © 1997-2006,
a subsidiary of Syphon Interactive, LLC.
Site created and managed by Ken and Scoot