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The 100

Highlander: Endgame
Reviewed by Randal Chou
Rating: 10 Beans

s a serious sci-fi fan the original "Highlander"(1986)is one of my favorite movies. I loved it so much that I sat through two utterly horrible sequels. Well, now we can make that three utterly horrible sequels. "Endgame"(2000) makes an attempt to bring all of the movies and the TV series together in one grand finale, that's actually a fizzle. From the start of the film I was saying "What the Fuck?" The opening sequence goes back to the original "Highlander" premise that the immortals do not know where they came from or why they were chosen; just that they're fighting for the prize. Well, I was willing to ignore the whole plot of the second movie then because I thought it was complete shit anyways. So I had no problem with that. It was immediately after the opening that I began to question the movie. First off we find out that this movie takes place about 15-20 years from the original. And, that Connor is leading his normal life. Well, didn't he win the prize? You'd think that might change things just a little bit. But, once again, I convinced myself that maybe the original "Highlander" didn't actually end with the gathering. So I trudged on through the whole film, with them never actually explaining.

Moving on we find Connor in this monastery like building called the Sanctuary, where if you're an immortal, you can opt not to fight anymore and go there to live out your existence. Enter the bad guy: Kell(Bruce Payne, Dungeons & Dragons). He comes up here, with a whole gang of immortals, wiping out people left and right. And killing all the immortals and watchers in the Sanctuary, which is hallow ground. This scene along with a little snippet about the bad guy having 600+ kills left me thinking that every other joe on this planet was an immortal. Plus, the guy playing Kell was so over the top that I was like ok great your bad, now shut up because you're really annoying me.

After all this, which is 15min in(seems more like 2hrs in), Duncan(Adrian Paule, Highlander: The Series) is finally introduced into the film. We find out that Connor trained him, and for about the next 1hr and a half, we just see constant flashbacks to Duncan and Connor fighting together throughout the centuries, every once in a while catching a glimpse of the present and some minor scenes with this female immortal that Duncan was/is in love with. Oh and just a little advice, Adrian...GET A FUCKING ACCENT TAPE AND LEARN HOW TO DO A REAL SCOTTISH ACCENT!!!!! Shit just listen to Sean Connery or anything but that muttled Scottish/Staten Island accent. Yes I know he's from London, but that doesn't mean he can do a Scottish accent. Believe me I know plenty of English people that can't do a Scottish accent.

However, after all those flashbacks, we see Connor and Duncan fight each other so that Duncan can be strengthened to fight Kell. Well, Kell has 600, almost 700 kills. Combined Connor and Duncan would have like at best 500. Even if Duncan could chalk up all Connor's kills, he'd still be too far under Kell to beat him. But low and behold he somehow does. And after this really shitty morph between his face and Connor's, we see Adrian's interpretation of a quickening; in which he had a look on his face that he was receiving this really intense blowjob then suddenly someone shoved a 14inch dildo up his ass. Horrible.

Overall, this movie sucks more than a Hoover with a warp drive. I would only recommend to people that I absolutely hate, because no one of good nature should have to suffer this long. Harry Knowles said it best "There can be only one, and I wish to god that there were only one."

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