Dungeons & Dragons
(2000) Reviewed by Andy Bowers
Rating: 8.5 Beans
ood vs. Evil. Fallen thespian vs. annoying Marlon Wayans. Creepy girl from American Beauty in tight chain body armor.
How can Jeremy Irons resume comprise such classics as Dead Ringers and Kafka and then prostitute himself in such garbage as this computer generated bile? Sure you can say he has to pay the bills. I can understand that. I've done a few films I'm not proud of in order to afford a couple extra cans of Campbell's Chicken and Rice soup between regular gigs. Unfortunately for Irons, unlike me, he was not able to buy the rights to said films and burn them in a dumpster behind the local Wendy's.
No, Dungeons and Dragons will forever be book marked in his decent film biography like a red flag on a bad credit check. The faint hope I hold is that Iron's who in this film lays on the ham thicker than an over exuberant Subway trainee, knew the clap-trap he was getting into and ran with it.
The guilty pleasure of D&D other than the excruciatingly bad CGI is just how over the top Jeremy will go to deliver one bad line after the next. Other than that point - which is not good enough reason to fork over five bucks to see it, Dungeons and Dragons is a film that could have prospered at the Box Office 10 years ago. Then again back then Irons wouldn't even have to consider this pabulum as a viable career choice.
To put it in perspective, it's like some ad exec in 2001 getting a brain fart and thinking how good of an idea it would be to cast Teen Wolf Three.