Dude, Where's My Car?
Reviewed by Patrick Brogan
Rating: 10 Beans
enjoy a sophmoric comedy, like ROAD TRIP, AMERICAN PIE, and the now classic ANIMAL HOUSE, I laugh my head off when I see those movies. But there are some unfunny sophmore comedies out there, and DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR? is by far the unfunniest movie I have seen this and in a long time. It's a movie that will attract the teenagers, who will find it funny, but what do you expect, teens do not have that high of a intelligence factor. That is why most of them talk during a movie, make rude sounds in public, and dig "bubble-gum" pop music of "musicians" who are famous because the record industry paid MTV to keep showing videos of the loser just so they can cash in.
But anyways, back to the review. DUDE, is a very simple plot, and calling it a plot is by far to generous. Two idiots Jesse (That 70's Show Ashton Kutcher) and Chester (AMERICAN PIE and ROAD TRIP's Seann William Scott) wake up one day and realize it's the anniversary of dating the girlfriends, the twins Wanda (Jennifer Garner) and Wilma (Marla Sokoloff). O.K. here is the situation of the twins. First actress Jennifer Garner was born in 1973, and Marla Sokoloff was born in 1980.
That is seven years apart, I didn't know that being born seven years apart make you twins? In that case, we are all TWINS!!!!!! Just like the Little Richard song from the Ivan Reitman film. But if that is the ladies characters it still doesn't work, since they do look ages aprart.
When Jesse and Chester walk outside, gulp!, Jesse's car is gone, and they do not know where it went. So they go around town to find out where the car is, since in the car are the anniversary gifts
for their loved ones. While going around town they run into a lot of people they met or talked to from the previous night. There's the popular and attractive Christie Boner (the original 'Buffy' Kristy Swanson), a trassexual stripper, a group of religious cults who dress up in bubble wrap, a group of "sexy hot chicks" who will give them oral pleasure if they give back a object from space, and two weird guys with strong accents who also want the object from space.
That is pretty much the plot, which isn't much.
That's because director Danny Leiner thought that this would be a movie more of jokes. And well, it could have worked, except for one thing, there are no jokes. Not even one funny joke. I can sometimes
count the funny parts with my hand while watching a unfunny film. But with DUDE, by the end, I realized that there was not one funny scene. It's a miracle, because there can be a funny bit, but there isn't, it's all annoying.
Here are some examples of the "jokes" in the film: when Jesse and Chester order Chinesse food through a drive thru, the cashier on the microphone
keeps responding, "and then?......" For about three minutes this joke goes on, and wasn't funny the first time, and it wasn't funny the 30th time.
Another joke, Jesse and Chester dance around with "old school" Young MC's 'Bust the Move.' And that's funny? It more of a update of the music video, except you have two dorky white boys who can't dance. Again, bad joke: when Jesse and Chester get a rental car and pull up at a intersection, they are next to famous celebrity Fabio, from 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' fame.
When Fabio puts his arm around and kisses his girlfriend in the passenger seat, Jesse and Chester
decide to do the 'monkey see, monkey do joke,' and it's not funny. Plus, at the end of the movie there are outtakes or flubs while making the movie.
Even outtakes from the Burt Reynolds' 'Good Ol' Boys' films from the 70's and 80's were funny. But in DUDE, they aren't funny at all, they are just there! What is Danny Leiner trying to tell us, that making this movie was fun? Yeah, fun for you to make, painful for us to watch!
There are three good things about this movie, and only three good things. Good thing #1: seeing a row of busty waitresses' at a strip club who wear tight t-shirts pour pitchers full of water on their shirts like a wet t-shirt contest. Good thing #2:
any scene featuring the very beautiful Maral Sokoloff, she is very very pretty, and what happens
to her in the end is another plus. Good thing #3:
seeing Playboy Playmate of the Year, Jodi Ann Paterson as a giant female wearing a mini-skirt, (which has the camera give her a low angle to reveal pink bunny cotton panties under the skirt).
That is it, but you might as well pick up a copy of Playboy with Jodi Ann Paterson, go to a bar with a wet t-shrit contest, or wait for another maral Sokoloff film before you watch this, because it isn't worth it.
While watching DUDE, I came to the conclusion that DUDE makes BATTLEFIELD EARTH look like Masterpiece Theater. Yes, it's that bad. While BATTLEFIELD EARTH is one of the most uninntentional funniest films of all time, DUDE is just bad. Along with SPICE WORLD and READY TO RUMBLE, you just have to pity the poor producers and studios who financed those movie. If I was the studio executive of Fox after seeing this movie, I would have thrown the person who pitched this movie to me out of a thrity story window. BEWARE!
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