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The 100




Beautiful Joe
(2000)
Reviewed by Andy Bowers
Rating: 8.5 Beans

haron Stone needs to fire her manager.

That's if she still can afford one. Maybe she's using a Ouija board to pick projects. If she had the proper technology, she should make a time machine , and got back to when she signed the dotted line for either "Last Dance" "The Mighty" "Gloria" or "Simpatico" (I know , it's like a bad train derailment) .

Reputedly , Sharon has an IQ of 154, so you'd figure she may have been able to weed out a few of these clunkers and not be where she is today. Starring in direct to video features is maybe, if I'm generous, one step above starring in a Police Academy movie (which she has - Part 4 - like you care).

But here she is in 2001, a far cry from Total Recall or Basic Instict, slumming it with comedian Billy Connelly (Howard Hessman's replacement on the eternally bad ABC sit-com "Head of the Class") in this dramatic love story drek.

Connelly stars as Joe - a down on his luck loser with a brain tumor (no really - it's a comedy) who just happens to win big at the race track. Smelling a free meal - Stone is a scam-artist with two illegitimate mouths to feed who owes big to a nasty loan shark (the Sweet Hereafter's Ian Holm - totally wasted here)

Yeah, if it got any more paint by numbers I could have a kindergarten class fill in the rest for you.

Rumor has it that Stone has signed on for Basic Instinct 2 without even seeing a script. She'd better hurry, those gams aren't getting any younger... and neither is her career.

If they don't act soon she'll have to stab her next unsuspecting suitor with a walker instead of an ice-pick.






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